):

It's the worst lunchtime concert I've ever had.
how come everything turned out like this?
Now, I have two more weeks until final yet I feel like I still have so many things to learn. I am so scared and lack of confidence.
plus, I've heard different comments from different teachers about my playing recently and I'm really getting confused now. I don't know who should i listen to.
Another funny thing is, I still cannot overcome my stupid nervous-ness till now, as a performer.
I remember that CKT told me not to question myself too much before he started to question me and I did exactly what he said.
But not today...
there are soooooo many questions running in my mind right now!!how can i just ignore them and continue practicing?
Perhaps I am stuck in my own little music world already.
Is it because I'm not hardworking enough,so I am being punished by this way??
p/s : Sorry teacher, I played horrible today. Luckily you were not there..

blue.